I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was CRYING into my vagina
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
