You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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