my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize