Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
