that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
