Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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