David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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