Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
