dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
