But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
