you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize