Pappa wants mamma naked
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The beer is more important than you right now.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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