checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
