It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
