What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
