he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
