u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Terrible idea I love it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
