that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
