Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
