i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
