This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize