I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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