So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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