Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
