I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm bleeding and have questions
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
