how can u be prego again
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
