HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
