There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
