She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
