Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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