I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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