She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
