like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
