I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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