Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so that wasnt chicken after all
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
