Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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