his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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