In the future we'll all be gay
Where is the hickey?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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