i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
