he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
