sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
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