You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
