and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
