So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
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