Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
