Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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