dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize