maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize