I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My liver just had a heart attack.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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