you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
how drunk are you?
Several
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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