Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize