You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
