I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
