On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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