Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
