dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
