if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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