dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
