I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think people are normalizing furries
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
