i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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