i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
