He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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