So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
