I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
