i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
