bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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