She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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