I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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