Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
