Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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