I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
