I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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