Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
