I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
