Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
